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You guys won’t believe this, but I turned 80 overnight. Normally I’m pretty easy going and even kind of goofy, but today I went from 33 to 83 in seconds.

Let me set the scene for you. I’m sitting on the couch in my living room and I look out the window and see a bunch of teenage boys standing on the sidewalk. Then I see that one of them is smoking!¬† OMG my inner old drudge, un-cool lady reared her ugly head. I know some kids smoke. I guess it isn’t supposed to be a big deal, but I was irate. This kid was like 14 or something! I wanted to call his mother. I wanted to go smack the cigarette out of his hand and pull him inside by his ear.

To be honest it made me feel sick to my stomach. I have a little boy. He’s not even 2 years old yet. All I could see in that moment was some future where my kid was the one standing on the sidewalk, smoking ,and being loud and obnoxious. It made my heart break to tell you the truth. I’m not trying to judge anyone else as a parent here. Please don’t get me wrong. By the time your kid is 14 or 15 you have to have done the best you can and hope it sticks.

I think that’s what scares me the most. I don’t want to be Eddie Haskell’s mom. I want to be honest about who my son is and what he’s capable of. I just don’t want him to do a ton of things I’ve taught him not to. And before you go on some rant about being a controlling or hovering parent with unrealistic ideas, let me say this: I know that no kid does 100% what their parents tell them to do. I didn’t, and I don’t expect my son to. I also know that kids need room to make mistakes, as well as parents who are loving enough to help them back up when they fall. All I’m saying is that I’m working so hard to be the best mom I can be. I want so much to give my son a shot at being the best person he can be. I don’t want to see him side tracked or derailed by bad behavior.Ugh! I’m so neurotic! Don’t worry; I’m trying hard to quit the habit before I pass it on to my bean.

I suppose in reality the only thing I can do is raise my son to fear God ( and maybe me a little) , and pray. I know that my mom always told me that when you become a mother you will pray like you’ve never prayed before. I just didn’t think I would start this early.

And just so nobody starts worrying about the bean, he’s fine. He’s actually a very open and happy little man. He has a mind of his own already. And he enjoys being¬† out and about just as much as he loves being at home with his family.

How about you? Have you ever been blindsided by a not so nice vision of your future child? Do you ever worry about the kind of job you’re doing as a parent?

 

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