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Hey everybody. It’s Friday, and I hope you’re all having a great start to your weekend. I try to keep things pretty light on here. And I never like posting anything about a problem without also leading to hope or some sort of solution to that problem. But today I’m just going to be honest, and hope that maybe one of you will have an idea to help.

I want to go home. I know you’re probably wondering what that means. I’m a mom and a wife and obviously I have a home. All of that is true, but I’m not at home.

I moved here to Savannah a little over 6 years ago to be with my husband. We had been in a long distance relationship for much too long, and we both decided that it would be easier for me to move here than for him to move to California. At the time I was so excited to start a new chapter of my life that I didn’t realize all the things I was going to miss by leaving the only home I’d known.  Of course I thought about how much I would miss my family, and my church, and my job that I really liked; but there were so many things I couldn’t have accounted for.

When I arrived I had a pretty bad case of culture shock. Moving from progressive California to the much more conservative South was disorienting. Suddenly skills I’d spent my whole life building were useless. I thought I’d be able to find a job quickly. It took me 6 months.  I thought it would be easy to find a new church. I still haven’t. I suddenly felt like I was living in a fishbowl because everywhere I went strangers stared openly at me. The whole adjustment was very uncomfortable.

But after a while I got used to living here. We got married. I worked in a cool hotel. It was OK. I never really started to feel like a native, but I was navigating better. Then I got pregnant for the first time. I had just quit my job and it was a pretty stressful time.  I had trouble with the pregnancy and eventually miscarried. I was far away from my mom and my brother, and it hurt. I was blessed that my aunt was able to visit from Atlanta while I was in the hospital. But when I went home I felt overwhelmed and alone. I prayed and got through it, but it cemented the idea within me that I really wanted to get back to my home and my family.

Like most things in life, moving would take the perfect alignment of so many of life’s moving parts. My husband has a steady job here, and California’s economy is infamously unstable. If we moved I’d probably need to go back to work  because of the huge increase in the cost of living. Which means we’d need childcare and another working vehicle. We’ve been trying to figure all of this out for years now. Sometimes we joke about just leaving everything here and driving off into the sunset.

Over the past two years, my level of homesickness has increased. I have a son now. I want him to know his family. I want him to grow up in a different environment. And honestly it would be nice to have some people around we could really depend on. We don’t have anybody we can leave the bean with just to go to out for dinner and a movie. I know! I could be less picky, but my child is my treasure and I can’t  leave him with just anybody. Heck, forget dinner and a movie. Last month both my husband and I were sick at the same time. It was hard to take care of each other and the baby, all while trying not to get him sick.  Thankfully, God blessed our kid with an amazing immune system and we pulled through.

And that’s just it. With God’s help we’ve been surviving. But I know that He wants more for us than just survival. I never imagined settling down here for good. So I’m asking you all to pray with us. Pray that we find some solution. Pray that God guides us through this time and grants us wisdom in all we do.  And if you happen to know anyone in California looking for an awesome Network Administrator with web design skills, let me know!

Have you made your home far away from friends and family? What are your tips for making it bearable? I’m grateful for whatever help I can get. :)

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You guys won’t believe this, but I turned 80 overnight. Normally I’m pretty easy going and even kind of goofy, but today I went from 33 to 83 in seconds.

Let me set the scene for you. I’m sitting on the couch in my living room and I look out the window and see a bunch of teenage boys standing on the sidewalk. Then I see that one of them is smoking!  OMG my inner old drudge, un-cool lady reared her ugly head. I know some kids smoke. I guess it isn’t supposed to be a big deal, but I was irate. This kid was like 14 or something! I wanted to call his mother. I wanted to go smack the cigarette out of his hand and pull him inside by his ear.

To be honest it made me feel sick to my stomach. I have a little boy. He’s not even 2 years old yet. All I could see in that moment was some future where my kid was the one standing on the sidewalk, smoking ,and being loud and obnoxious. It made my heart break to tell you the truth. I’m not trying to judge anyone else as a parent here. Please don’t get me wrong. By the time your kid is 14 or 15 you have to have done the best you can and hope it sticks.

I think that’s what scares me the most. I don’t want to be Eddie Haskell’s mom. I want to be honest about who my son is and what he’s capable of. I just don’t want him to do a ton of things I’ve taught him not to. And before you go on some rant about being a controlling or hovering parent with unrealistic ideas, let me say this: I know that no kid does 100% what their parents tell them to do. I didn’t, and I don’t expect my son to. I also know that kids need room to make mistakes, as well as parents who are loving enough to help them back up when they fall. All I’m saying is that I’m working so hard to be the best mom I can be. I want so much to give my son a shot at being the best person he can be. I don’t want to see him side tracked or derailed by bad behavior.Ugh! I’m so neurotic! Don’t worry; I’m trying hard to quit the habit before I pass it on to my bean.

I suppose in reality the only thing I can do is raise my son to fear God ( and maybe me a little) , and pray. I know that my mom always told me that when you become a mother you will pray like you’ve never prayed before. I just didn’t think I would start this early.

And just so nobody starts worrying about the bean, he’s fine. He’s actually a very open and happy little man. He has a mind of his own already. And he enjoys being  out and about just as much as he loves being at home with his family.

How about you? Have you ever been blindsided by a not so nice vision of your future child? Do you ever worry about the kind of job you’re doing as a parent?

 

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Happy Monday everyone! Today is the start of a new week. I’m sad to see the weekend go (aren’t we all?), but I’m glad to be able to share with you today.

Yesterday we took our little bean to his very first pumpkin patch type outing. We went with a few other moms in the area, and I think the babies had a blast. My little guy will be two in a few short months, so he was up for all sorts of outdoor freedom. He loved the hayride, and was especially happy about the little rubber duck races that were set up. He loves all things water related. We didn’t venture into the corn maze, because 10 acres of corn confusion with a stroller and an easily irritated toddler just didn’t sound like my idea of a relaxing afternoon. He laughed and played with the other babies. He did really well until the pig races. He was fine with the pigs and the racing , but he was tired and needing a snack , so we took our exit. We had a great bit of family time and that was enough for one day.

I’m sure if you’ve read the title of this post you’re wondering if nap time is supposed to be the bitter part. It isn’t, but that’s what I’d like to talk about now.

Today, October 15th is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day. It’s a day to remember all the families who have lost children during pregnancy or shortly after. This is a day close to my heart because two years ago, we lost our own beautiful baby girls, when I miscarried. As much as we adore our little bean, we never forget the love we had for our girls. It’s the kind of thing that can be hard to talk about for those going through it, as well as those who love them.

Today is a day you can show your support for friends or family members who have experienced this type of loss. You don’t have to do anything big, just light a candle at 7 p.m. and remember. And if someone you know is going through this sad time right now, just let them know you care.  Let them know it’s OK to grieve in their own way, and be a safe place for them to express their feelings. There’s no better gift you can give than a quiet moment, a hug, or a listening ear.

So take a moment today, and offer up a prayer for all those who have lost a part of their family, and a little piece of their heart. It will undoubtedly be appreciated.

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Oct 142012
 

Hey guys! how’s your weekend going? We had a great weekend here. Hung out watching movies yesterday, and took the boy to his first corn maze today. I’ll do a proper post about that in a couple of days. Tonight it’s time for sleep.  Sweet dreams all.

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Two posts in one day! Oh boy I guess I’m on a roll.

Q: Do you believe parents should  steer their children away from careers that the child may be interested in but wouldn’t take care of them financially?

A: I can’t speak for all parents. In my opinion, I’d rather my son be in love with what he does, than worried about if he’s going to be rich or look super successful to others. I will encourage him to seek out what makes him happy, because at the end of the day no one else will have to live his life. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of comparing our children to other people’s standards. I think it’s really important to remember that our job is to guide and support them, not tell them who to be. Besides that, I’m much more worried about my son becoming a kind, compassionate, and capable human being, than what title is on his business cards (if he ever has them).

Anyway, that’s my two cents. What are your thoughts?

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Woooooooooo! It’s the weekend. Today’s question is just as light-hearted as a summer Saturday afternoon. Thanks for stopping by, and enjoy your day!

Q: What does Disney mean to you?

A: Since I’m a So. Cal girl, born and raised, Disney is part of my birth right, LOL. I’ve grown up with the movies, and the theme parks. I know Disney has a reputation for being controversial; from their expansion to their corporate culture, people seem to have very strong feelings about this company. I however, think that the Disney legacy, of imagination and creativity, is amazing. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for Disney characters. I also admire the company’s attention to detail, and the fact that it demands the best of its employees.

The thing I enjoy the most is that the quality of the Disney experience lends itself to the establishment of tradition. I grew up going to Disneyland with my parents. It was something I looked forward to every time. The anticipation of that magical experience is palpable. So, as a mother, I look forward to sharing that same magical feeling with my son. Last year my husband and I went to Disney World for our anniversary. Our son was only 3 months old at the time,but he still enjoyed himself very much. He loved the huge crowds of people and even giggled a little at the rides and attractions. The best part, for me, was seeing the sense of wonder on my husband’s face when we walked into the Magic Kingdom. He had never been to any of the Disney parks, and he kept saying, “It’s like a whole other world.” Not many companies strive to give their guests that kind of experience these days. I cherish the idea that on any day, at any time and in any mood, I can walk through a tunnel into a place that I know will make me smile, and give me a feeling of child like whimsy.

I love Disney. Do You? Are there any other companies or experiences you hold close to your heart? Are there any traditions you like to share with your family?

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