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So. This faith thing.

The Bible says in James 4:2, “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trust in God. It’s been a real rubber meets the road situation these days. I’ve had to acknowledge that maybe I’m not asking. And then, I have to figure out with a God so good, why am I not asking? I think part of it is that I’m to busy focusing on what I don’t have, or won’t have. How can we have room for faith when all we want to do is be afraid of losing something we already don’t have? How can I trust the Lord to grant me what I ask for, if I’m too afraid to ask for fear that I might lose what little I’ve gathered on my own?

I’m probably alone in this. I’m sure no one else deals with this kind of warped economics of the mind. I must be the only one muddling along day by day. Doing my best to do what I believe the Lord wants of me, only to come up against obstacles and think, “Man, I’m so not prepared for this. It’s too bad I haven’t saved/planned/prepared for this thing. It’s too bad I’m stuck now because what can I do about this?  What can I do?” Maybe, just maybe I can have faith. Maybe I should be turning toward the Father who says ask and receive, seek and find, knock and I’ll open the door.

Am I missing some brain cells? Or is this part of the human condition. Have I been so conditioned to believe that the only source of life is me and my two little hands, that I refuse to open my mouth and heart and ask the Creator of all things?

Who am I? I want to be who I say I am. I want to be a believer and a follower of Christ. I want to be a joint heir of the kingdom. How many princes and princesses do you know that feel stuck? They all know their privilege. Why can’t I learn mine? I’m trying people. I’m moving forward with this like you wouldn’t believe. I’m abandoning my fear and placing my faith where it belongs. And I know in my heart and in my spirit , He will honor that.

So those are my thoughts for the day. Do you struggle with this issue?

Aug 162012

Hey everyone. I know today is supposed to be a review of something cool I’m trying out, and maybe I’ll put one up later, but right now I just feel like I need to share something with you. I want to talk to you about trust. More specifically trust in God, which is faith.

I think a lot of times we see faith as this fluffy, warm and snuggly thing. It’s often used as a feel good and uplifting concept. And don’t get me wrong faith is good. In fact having faith is great. But faith is also possibly one of the scariest things known to man. Faith requires leaping without looking. Or, more to the point faith is leaping after looking and seeing there is no soft place to land. Jumping without knowing is one thing. There’s a 50/50 chance that what lies beneath is soft and welcoming. On the other hand, leaping once you’ve seen that the only thing waiting is a pit of thorns, seems absolutely insane. Am I right? But that is what God is asking us to do. He’s asking us to jump knowing that the thorns are coming and trusting him to change the winds, or the outcome before we land. Sometimes we’re just trusting that, even when we fall to the thorns, we won’t be ripped to shreds.

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with faith in everyday situations. I’m a girl who has grown up in church. I decided at age 7 that Jesus was the one for me. I never felt like I was forced into being a Christian. I was just convicted at an early, by the love a God who knew and created me. I can believe that God created the earth and everything in with nothing more than words. I can believe that that same God seeing my need for salvation could conform to the constrictions of humanity and come to die on a cross for me. I believe that God speaks to me regularly. I can believe these things that are fantastical to some, but I have trouble believing the little things. For instance I get panicky if our vehicle needs repairs. What if there’s some stupid thing I did to cause it? Maybe God won’t want to help me. You see how silly that sounds? But it’s how I feel. I have this faith that God can do huge things, unbelievable things, but somehow I lack the faith to to think God could pay my bills.

I don’t know if you limit yourself this way. I don’t know if you in turn limit the power of God in your own life. But let’s both step out of the way. God is more powerful than our minds can give Him credit for. He didn’t just heal the sick and raise the dead. He hasn’t just defeated ancient armies. He lives here and now within me. He is greater than all things. I feel like I’m preaching, but I feel like somebody besides me needs to know this. My God, YOUR God is greater. Trust Him. Release your doubts, and step out in faith. It will work out. His hand is waiting.

I love you all,

<3 Bran

Apr 012012

Hi there! Just late night random blogging because I feel like…. talking? It’s after midnight, and it feels like a billion degrees in here, but oh well.

Today has been a pretty wonderful day. Woke up this morning and went to church :) It’s crazy I’ve been here 5 years and haven’t been going consistently. It’s really important to me, but I think I was being resistant because I honestly don’t want to get too settled here.

Anyway, the service was good, and I love that my husband is really taking an interest in absorbing all God has to give. This is a big step for us, as a couple, and also as parents. There are so many things I learned growing up as a Christian, that I take for granted. I always assume everyone knows what it’s like to walk with God on a daily basis, but a lot of people don’t. Watching my husband come to know Christ, and surrender his life these last few years has been a totally eye-opening experience. It’s such a blessing to share in his life and watch his testimony grow. I’m also excited to watch how his salvation changes his relationship with me, with our son, and with those he comes in contact with on a daily basis. I’m proud that our home will be a safe spiritually sound place for our son to grow up.

I have really come to appreciate the hope and assurance knowing God from a young age can cement in your life.  This time has also challenged me to take a step back and really look at the world around me. How many people do things they really believe to be righteous every day, but leave God out of their hearts? How many  live lives full of chaos and upheaval only because they don’t know the one who can calm the storm? Why do I assume that everyone knows the depth of God’s saving grace?

So many people in this world are truly hurting. They are truly alone, and feel as if there is no answer. It’s easy to sit with the knowledge of Christ’s love for us and assume that others just refuse Him. They must know, but choose not to accept, right? The answer is, no. So, instead of chastising those we don’t understand, let’s learn to see them as our Father does. He wants us all living life to the fullest. He came to give life more abundantly.

Step outside of your comfortable place of knowledge, and learn to really understand others. I don’t believe there are people who really want to live miserable lives. So why don’t we help them see the path to a more glorious way of life? Let’s share the goodness of our best friend with the world, in a way that gives them hope and an assurance of love.

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