So. This faith thing.
The Bible says in James 4:2, “You desire but do not have, so you kill. You covet but you cannot get what you want, so you quarrel and fight. You do not have because you do not ask God.”
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about trust in God. It’s been a real rubber meets the road situation these days. I’ve had to acknowledge that maybe I’m not asking. And then, I have to figure out with a God so good, why am I not asking? I think part of it is that I’m to busy focusing on what I don’t have, or won’t have. How can we have room for faith when all we want to do is be afraid of losing something we already don’t have? How can I trust the Lord to grant me what I ask for, if I’m too afraid to ask for fear that I might lose what little I’ve gathered on my own?
I’m probably alone in this. I’m sure no one else deals with this kind of warped economics of the mind. I must be the only one muddling along day by day. Doing my best to do what I believe the Lord wants of me, only to come up against obstacles and think, “Man, I’m so not prepared for this. It’s too bad I haven’t saved/planned/prepared for this thing. It’s too bad I’m stuck now because what can I do about this? What can I do?” Maybe, just maybe I can have faith. Maybe I should be turning toward the Father who says ask and receive, seek and find, knock and I’ll open the door.
Am I missing some brain cells? Or is this part of the human condition. Have I been so conditioned to believe that the only source of life is me and my two little hands, that I refuse to open my mouth and heart and ask the Creator of all things?
Who am I? I want to be who I say I am. I want to be a believer and a follower of Christ. I want to be a joint heir of the kingdom. How many princes and princesses do you know that feel stuck? They all know their privilege. Why can’t I learn mine? I’m trying people. I’m moving forward with this like you wouldn’t believe. I’m abandoning my fear and placing my faith where it belongs. And I know in my heart and in my spirit , He will honor that.
So those are my thoughts for the day. Do you struggle with this issue?