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Hey everybody. It’s Friday, and I hope you’re all having a great start to your weekend. I try to keep things pretty light on here. And I never like posting anything about a problem without also leading to hope or some sort of solution to that problem. But today I’m just going to be honest, and hope that maybe one of you will have an idea to help.

I want to go home. I know you’re probably wondering what that means. I’m a mom and a wife and obviously I have a home. All of that is true, but I’m not at home.

I moved here to Savannah a little over 6 years ago to be with my husband. We had been in a long distance relationship for much too long, and we both decided that it would be easier for me to move here than for him to move to California. At the time I was so excited to start a new chapter of my life that I didn’t realize all the things I was going to miss by leaving the only home I’d known.  Of course I thought about how much I would miss my family, and my church, and my job that I really liked; but there were so many things I couldn’t have accounted for.

When I arrived I had a pretty bad case of culture shock. Moving from progressive California to the much more conservative South was disorienting. Suddenly skills I’d spent my whole life building were useless. I thought I’d be able to find a job quickly. It took me 6 months.  I thought it would be easy to find a new church. I still haven’t. I suddenly felt like I was living in a fishbowl because everywhere I went strangers stared openly at me. The whole adjustment was very uncomfortable.

But after a while I got used to living here. We got married. I worked in a cool hotel. It was OK. I never really started to feel like a native, but I was navigating better. Then I got pregnant for the first time. I had just quit my job and it was a pretty stressful time.  I had trouble with the pregnancy and eventually miscarried. I was far away from my mom and my brother, and it hurt. I was blessed that my aunt was able to visit from Atlanta while I was in the hospital. But when I went home I felt overwhelmed and alone. I prayed and got through it, but it cemented the idea within me that I really wanted to get back to my home and my family.

Like most things in life, moving would take the perfect alignment of so many of life’s moving parts. My husband has a steady job here, and California’s economy is infamously unstable. If we moved I’d probably need to go back to work  because of the huge increase in the cost of living. Which means we’d need childcare and another working vehicle. We’ve been trying to figure all of this out for years now. Sometimes we joke about just leaving everything here and driving off into the sunset.

Over the past two years, my level of homesickness has increased. I have a son now. I want him to know his family. I want him to grow up in a different environment. And honestly it would be nice to have some people around we could really depend on. We don’t have anybody we can leave the bean with just to go to out for dinner and a movie. I know! I could be less picky, but my child is my treasure and I can’t  leave him with just anybody. Heck, forget dinner and a movie. Last month both my husband and I were sick at the same time. It was hard to take care of each other and the baby, all while trying not to get him sick.  Thankfully, God blessed our kid with an amazing immune system and we pulled through.

And that’s just it. With God’s help we’ve been surviving. But I know that He wants more for us than just survival. I never imagined settling down here for good. So I’m asking you all to pray with us. Pray that we find some solution. Pray that God guides us through this time and grants us wisdom in all we do.  And if you happen to know anyone in California looking for an awesome Network Administrator with web design skills, let me know!

Have you made your home far away from friends and family? What are your tips for making it bearable? I’m grateful for whatever help I can get. :)

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  3 Responses to ““Yesterday I dared to struggle, but today I dare to win.” — Bernadette Devlin”

  1. Brandyne, my heart cries with you because I can’t imagine going through all that you’ve been through away from your family. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that the hubby and the bean are your new family, but there is still something special about being comforted by those who have known us our entire life.

    I’m praying for the Lord to move and bless you all with a way to come back home. I love you and will pray without ceasing.
    Mylah Sai recently posted..20 Random Facts About MeMy Profile

  2. I would suggest joining a mother’s group, couples group, and a women’s group. When I moved to Atlanta, I joined meetup.com and I have made several close friends and acquaintances through the site.

    Also, challenge yourself to meet people and go places you may not be comfortable with. Sometimes getting out of your own circle makes a difference.

    Good luck to you!
    Miss Foodie Fab recently posted..Great Date Deals Atlanta BrunchMy Profile

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